It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. (The Message)
The magazines at the check out counters weren't the first ones to have suggestions for strengthening your marriage and keeping it spicy for years to come. Paul recognizes that sex is an important part of the human experience and the marriage relationship specifically. Paul is clear about the role of sex within a marriage even though he choose to be single and was pleased with his decision. Paul could not comprehend a sexless marriage anymore than he could comprehend sex outside of marriage being a healthy option. For Paul marriage was an opportunity to practice serving another person on a daily basis in all ways including sexually. Paul suggests that problems are going to derail a marriage as soon as one of the partners begins to exert their rights above the needs and comfort of the other party. He says that marriage is a place of mutuality and it is where not only the partner is served but that God as well.
Discussions of sex and sexuality aren't always easy to have within a Christian context. Paul gives us a glimpse of what a healthy marriage might look like here in his words to the Corinthians. It is a place that the church should be willing to explore in openly amongst those who are married, those planning on marrying, as well as those who choose to be single.
Some thoughts to ponder and share with others:
- Paul says that he is answering questions that have been asked but he doesn't repeat the questions. What do you think might have been the questions that Paul is addressing?
- When you were growing up did you see any marriages that were based upon mutuality? Whose were they and what caught your eye about them?
- Why do you think it is so difficult for the church to talk honestly about sex and sexuality?
- How do you understand Paul's words about mutuality in the marriage bed?
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