Read
James 4
"11-12Don't bad-mouth each other, friends. It's God's Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You're supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?" (The Message)
James spends a lot of time talking about the words that we use and the destructive power they carry. While it would be nice to think that it is only others who do these things we should all know that we are guilty ourselves. I know that I would rather not replay the many moments in my life when the words that I have spoken to and about others have brought pain and disappointed rather than encouragement and hope.
There are several "rules" that we are told to consider when it comes to our words to and about others, such as:
If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all.
If you wouldn't say it to the persons face you shouldn't say it behind their back.
While these are helpful to a point they leave us wanting for more because they just don't work. We know people who are always "nice" but come across as fake. We know others who are so honest that they leave a wake of destroyed egos in their wake because of their bluntness. Neither of these is God-honoring.
There has to be another way to approach our communication that starts first with a heart that sees others as important in God's eyes just as we ourselves are. We have to look for ways to build others up while at the same time speaking in loving honesty about the realities of life and the sometimes destructive choices we make. It isn't easy but we have to hold one another accountable to the words that we speak and each of us must find a way to say, "I'm sorry that I've hurt you, help me to not do that again."
Some thoughts to ponder and share with others:
- What comment from another person to you has stayed with you and caused you the most pain?
- Which is harder for you, to speak words of encouragement or words of correction?
- Who do you need to go to and ask for forgiveness and understanding because of the words that you have spoken to them or about them?
- What can you begin doing today that will help your words be God-honoring on a regular basis?