"Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats." vs 16 (The Message)
In Proverbs 16:18 we are told, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." It seems to be rather straight forward and we would agree that the wisdom contained there is true. Recognizing it is one thing but learning to not be controlled by our pride is something completely different. One of the problems we have is coming to grips with the difference between God given confidence and self centered pride.
Pride is a problem when it moves beyond self worth and becomes arrogance. The mindset that I am better than others, that my way is the only right way, and that I deserve more because I'm better is what gets us into trouble. This is what leads us to ignore other peoples needs as well as their gifts. When we allow pride to drive us we leave the wreckage of damaged relationships behind us without a thought to what might have been.
God given confidence on the other hand is an acceptance of who we are in God's sight and a willingness to own the gifts, talents, and experience that God has given us. It doesn't make us better than other people only different. It also includes an awareness that God has also given others what we do not have ourselves. God given confidence includes a level of humility that allows us to continue to learn from life those lessons that God uses to make us even more into his image.
Some thoughts to ponder and discuss with others:
- Which bothers you more in other people; overt pride or false humility? Why?
- Have you found yourself in a situation where you were trying to make yourself look good at someone else's expense? What happened as a result of it? Why do you think you did this?
- Do you find it difficult to fully accept the confidence that God has given you more of something than has been given to others? Why might you feel this way?
- What one relationship in your life right now might be improved if you had a healthy sense of God given confidence and less pride? How might you ask God to bring the changes necessary into that relationship?
As I was working on my master's degree I became more confident as a teacher and as a person. Some of my colleagues saw that I was "different" and felt threatened. They were used to me saying and doing whatever they wanted. It took me "starting over" in a new position before I felt valued for who I was.
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